Dear Addi

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Love vs. Lust

Hey Friends! Thanks to all of you that have visited our new blog! We love being a part of the LDS addiction recovery blog list. We are about to update part 6 of our addiction journey but first, we wanted to publish this little thought about the difference between love and lust. We are learning so much through this process and we are experiencing an increase in revelation and understanding. My husband wrote this up the other day as he has been finding new ways to understand his addiction. Hope you enjoy!

(His thoughts)

The difference Between Lust and Love

I know there must be a billion articles and books that declare the difference between lust and love but I have been thinking about this a bit myself and thought I would share my perspective.

Lust: First we must recognize that Lust cannot be satisfied. It must be understood that lust will forever want more. I believe in a previous post I shared my analogy of the lust monster that just cant stop eating and feeding itself.  It is always hoping for something more, something better, something more fulfilling. The great lie of Lust is that fulfillment  doesn't exist. There will never be a way to feed it enough. It will never find the very best or most perfect, or most satisfying thing. It just isn't out there. But Lust will keep you looking for it forever. It always pushes you on towards something else. Lust does not require hard work. It does not require sacrifice or pain. It seeks instant gratification. Lust is merciless, devouring all it encounters while stepping on and destroying those that stand in its way. It cares not about feeling or emotions. It throws caution to the wind and leaps without looking. It is fragile and shatters with the slightest bit of instability.

Love: Love is the polar opposite of lust. Love is grown slowly. Love takes time. It is found in warmth. Love is created by struggle and sacrifice. It takes time but it endures.  It offers comfort and safety and security. It is forged through the refiners fire. It is strengthened through service. It is patient. Love offers satisfaction.

Lust is like a 10 Year old who has just heard that a brand new toy will be released a few weeks away. He spends all his time thinking about it and dreaming about how he will play with it. He reads the reviews and researches it. He has conjured up the scenarios in which he will play with it. The time comes to get the toy. He tears it from its package and its shininess gleams in his hands. He examines it from all angles and determines it is perfect. He has waited so long for this day. He takes his toy and immediately goes into play mode. He begins to use his toy in all the ways he fantasized. He has fun. He is enjoying his new toy but surprisingly, a few days go by and suddenly his toy doesn't look so shiny and new anymore. He doesn't find the same excitement from it as he once did. He has already played out all of his imaginations with it and it seems to be less exciting than before. In only a few short weeks, it doesn't bring him the same thrill or interest or desire as it did before. But wait…. whats this?   Did he just see an ad on TV for another toy? And it looks like the perfect toy… its the one that he really wanted, isn't it?  He thought the other was going to bring him happiness but he didn't know about this one back then.  This one will surely be the best toy ever…
Love is the opposite. Love is that warm teddy bear that has always been there. It sits on the bed waiting for our daily return. It is an heirloom that we cherish. It has history and time behind it. It is not new and shiny but it is warm and comforting. It will always be there. No matter how many new toys one gets, this faithful companion will never disappear or seem useless. In fact we treat it as a priceless, protected Item.  It is not for the value found in its workmanship or design, but for the immense worth found in the memories that it represents. In it is true satisfaction. It stands for endurance. It represents comfort. It has been through a few battles and is tattered at the edges but we would never let it go for the memories and strength that it offers.
Love is satisfying, Lust is not.

Lust Can not become Love And Love does not Need Lust.


  1. This is an excellent way to describe the differences between love and lust. I am going to share it on my facebook page. I wish more men and women involved in adultery and sex addictions would read this article. It is spot on and so very relevant!

  2. Thanks so much for sharing these thoughts. It is amazing how many people are deceived into thinking that lust is love. People become desensitized and are not able to see the difference... until it is too late.
    I think I will put a link to this article on my blog.
    Thanks for your insights.