Dear Addi

Thursday, February 1, 2018

New Dear Addi Post - RED FLAGS! - What are they?

It has been a little while since I have posted in the 'Dear Addi' blog, however I am continuing to receive questions from those who return to it often. Here is an overdue post with more in this series to come. in the coming days. Thank you for continuing to read and share  your thoughts ans questions.

Here is the most recent post. Red Flags - What are They?

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

New Dear Addi Post - Finally!

After several emails asking if he is still alive and what is the status of his recovery, Addi has found some time to blog again. Please read his latest post here.

A full update of our journey over the last year is coming in the next post.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Major personal update

Hello friends,

I just wanted to take a moment to share a personal update for my wife and I. We are so thrilled to report that after 3 years of begging, pleading, and convincing, our area will finally be starting a pornography addiction recovery group. Our first class starts in just 2 weeks.

As I began my personal confession process almost 3 years ago, I knew based on my habits and hungers that seemed to be on auto pilot, that I was not going to be able to beat my addiction with out help. We went to the LDS church addiction recovery website and searched for a class nearby. Unfortunately the closest group to us was an hours drive away. We committed to making the drive every week. At the same time, we asked the stake what the chances are that we could have our own class. After all we lived in a tri stake area and there was nothing for pornography addicts at all.

The request was accepted and agreed with, but with the bureaucratic process being what it is, it either got sidelined or back burnered  for any number of reasons. We never stopped asking though. At least 3 or 4 times a year (probably more) we would suggest again and again the importance and need for the class. Our good stake president wanted to make it happen but was battling some oposing forces from other local stakes.

We never gave up. We continued to drive an hour north every weeks for 3 years time. We, with the bishops permission, started our own little group within our ward for brothers that were struggling but unable to make the weekly drive. With a group of about 4 to 6 brethren, we were able to work the steps and find healing together.

Approaching the 3 year mark of my initial confession, We continued to plead for a local group. Finally the 3 stake presidents were able to agree on the need for the group and informed us that we would be starting one in just a few short weeks.

Be careful what you wish for! Our stake president was only to happy to tell us that not only would we have our own group, but that he would like my wife and I to be the group leaders!.. Honestly not what we were looking to do, but thrilled none the less.

The Moral? Never give up!. Our leaders know this is needed. If you don't have a pornography specific group in your area... then ask... and keep asking. Part of the reason so many areas don't have groups is because the leaders don't know how badly it's needed.

We simply kept sharing the stats and encouraging the stake president to ask his Bishops how many brothers they knew of in their wards that were struggling. The numbers make a very compelling argument.

Here are a few of the stats we shared and a link to many more if your interested.

- 64% of Christian men look at pornography at least once a month. (source: statistics).
- there is no evidence to suggest that the numbers are lower inside the mormon church. (Source: rowboats and marbles)
- in fact it seems to go against it. If your a fundamentalist Christian (like a mormon) you are 91% more likely to have a pornography addiction.. (source: statistics).
- in Salt Lake Valley the ratio of general addiction to pornography addiction groups is nearly 1 to 1. The church recognizes this is needed. (Lds addiction recover Web site, find a group near you)

For some quick stats go here...

To download the complete statistical report (its big, and very detailed) go here.

Good luck on your quest to get a group started in your area.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Dear Addi Post, 'Should I Confess?'

Addi has a new post ready. A good young return missionary is struggling with confessions questions. Addi gives his 2 cents on how the young man should aproach confession. Find the newest post here.

Dear Addi, Should I confess?

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Equal Priesthood time!

(His story)

I just posted step 8 in "How do I help my wife Heal."  It's called...Make sure she gets time with her priesthood leaders too!  You can find it here:

I have written it from the perspective of me...the husband, trying to help his wife heal.  This can also apply if the roles are reversed.

Merry Christmas everyone!